What made you stop being an addict?

And I can also talk to them now.

I went on my favourite site and started scrolling through my favourite categories; petite girls, sleeping girls, Japanese girls, Japanese mom, Japanese wife, massage, forced, in the bus, gangb*ng, Muslim girls, ebony, student and teacher, in the classroom, curvy, African, etc

Was quitting worth the effort? At least for my mental health, it's a billion times worth it.

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There were times I could go 3 months without watching p*rn or masturbating but somehow I always came back to it.

Just keep trying

Oh, and everyday I woke up tired 😫 I never slept early too. My mental health was nothing to write home about.

What causes you to be tired all the time and major headaches?

RUN 🏃‍♂️ for your dear life

This was February 2019.

No self esteem. No confidence. No ambition. Just dreams.

Scientists discover giant underground sponge capable of supplying water to rivers and cities - Earth.com

So all I had to do was to find a way to trick my dirty brain to think that p*rn isn't nice.

Remember, if nothing changes, nothing changes.

It took me days to finish watching them. Finally I decided to go to the washroom to do The Last Fap.

Supercomputer simulation reveals how merging neutron stars form black holes and powerful jets - Phys.org

Read that again ☝️

I don't know if all addictions are like this 🤔

All I knew was that, I couldn't masturbate without p*rn. I was first getting the urge to watch p*rn, while watching, I would now feel like masturbating.

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I knew something had to be done about my wasting existence because if nothing changes, then nothing changes.

And I DID IT EVERYDAY

I went there early in the morning trying to watch a movie and I found the CD inside the video player so I decided to watch what was on it and that was the beginning of the life I never wanted.

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But how was I going to do it when everything I knew wasn't working? I didn't know

I remember I once did it in my classroom at dawn. I did it in the hospital's washrooms. I did it in the lab where I work; both daytime and midnight.

Have I stopped seeing girls as sex objects? Not entirely, I still want to f*ck some of them.

How is it, in the USA, a country with 334 million people, the choice of President comes down to two aged men, one of whom is a liar as well as a criminal, one who appears to be on his way to dementia. Surely a democratic country can put up better?

So I thought had unlocked a new potential in life. I was doing it even if I don't feel the urge. I forced the urge to come by watching pornography.

Do I wake up everyday with lots of energy? No but that's because I have a health problem, which is a story for another day.

The harder I tried, the worse it became. I could get angry with myself and go about 3 days without it but when I relapse, I can do 3 in a day. And the subsequent days; it's just me getting drowned in the rabbit hole.

Why did my ex of 2 years move on so fast after he left me? Why does he act so cold towards me, and as if I don't exist?

I just finished watching the best of the best p*rn videos on the planet. Now there's nothing else to look for on p*rn sites again.

But for me, I would say RUN away from it

It didn't feel great after ejaculating but hey, who cares about feelings?

Were the 1980s as uptight and prudish as movies and TV shows make them out to be? When I think of 80s culture, I think about a very "icky" judgmental yuppie status quo time period.

I did it while watching my sister. I did it while touching my sister 😭 I did it while watching my landlord's daughter.

Now I don't wait to be talked to before I respond. I talk when I think I'm supposed to.

Is masturbation and p*rn bad?

How do the Sola Scrptura folks react to the Dead Sea Scrolls and other more recent discoveries of ancient Biblical texts not among those canonized by Martin Luther?

So I'm still hanging on this lie.

And these were just the act and not the mental and social problems associated with addiction.

I made sure I downloaded every video that was nice for me. This took almost the whole day.

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Am I totally free? I don't know 😕

I knew about masturbation but I didn't actually think of doing it but one day, on my bed when I was preparing to go to school I was watching pornography and something just came in mind; why don't you rob your dick with your hand?

I saw every girl or woman as a sex object including kid girls. There was no way I would look at a woman and not think of f*cking her.

I always wished they would sit inappropriately or the wind would blow up their dress so I can see things.

Around age 9 I discovered pornography through my uncle, he had left the CD in the video player in the night after enjoying himself.

Now how do you quit your addiction?

I so badly wanted to f*uk a girl, yet I was so shy of girls. I never wanted to meet anyone. I always wanted to hide behind the phone and text.

I did it in my administrator's office.

I started rubbing it and I liked how I was feeling so I kept on doing it faster and EUREKA, sperms came out of my dick.

A couple of months later I started hating it and regretting after every session. Yet, I couldn't stop.

I did it in my room. I did it in my washroom. I did it in school in the washrooms.

Now I know I have all the nice videos on my phone, the rest I don't have, are not nice. So I had to start watching them one after the other. Some of them were even 2 hours long but I made sure I watched every little bit of it.

I know some people masturbate and they don't have the problems I went through.

I got tired of always breaking the promises I made to myself.

I secretly kept on watching and watching until I got 19. At this time, I had started feeling the urge to ejaculate as I was watching the pornography.

There were times I was counting the days when I'm clean. But now I don't, because I got tired of counting and relapsing and starting all over again.

I remember sitting on the bed and smiling and that was when it hit me that I have successfully masturbated.

I didn't even start counting the days because I didn't really believe I would get this far.

Now I have the mental fortitude to face life's every day battles.